I like to self reflect a lot and over these past couple of months I’ve found myself doing it often. I had to take a step back last week and even yesterday to re-evaluate a couple things in my life. I’ve been stressing myself out about people, my finances, my job, and this house process as I’m finally coming to a close. Feeding it so much negative energy that I ended up having to detach from certain ppl and things that didn’t give me anything but positivity. The universe tested me with someone from my past (a guy from 5-6 years ago), I almost gave up on a promotion, I had a huge moment of self-pity last week, and I had to deal with someone who didn’t understand that I was trying to take care of myself and they somehow made it about themselves when I said that I needed some time to focus on other things. I didn’t have to but I found myself feeding into bad vibes. It’s easy to feel like you’re not doing shit right, to entertain negativity, and feel sorry for yourself. The important thing is recognizing it and trusting that it will all come together, don’t force it. Just relax, appreciate how far you’ve come, and keep working towards what you want at your own pace. It’ll be worth the wait.
It hasn’t been easy by any means and I have definitely been discouraged by a really bad breakup, someone that I really ended up caring about not talking to me anymore, and my home being on the market for 60 days. I pitied myself. Go ahead, laugh, because I do. I laugh at how pathetic that is of me to feel that way when there are people who would laugh at what I think problems or stressor’s are. Ya, we’re all different, our battles are different, our demons want the same thing but it’s hard to take a step back and see that. ESPECIALLY when you have a negative person in your ear who acts like they know what you’re feeling better than you know. BUT, I won’t go there as that’s a whole fuckery and too much to get into. Maybe I’ll dive into it at some other time but I need a moment or two to process what this individual said to me and how maddening it was. Anyways, this ones short and to the point. I really needed a space where I could write what was on my mind. So for anybody whose close to that point of giving up, don’t, don’t give up on yourself, your desires, goals, that last piece of cake (lol), whatever it may be.